To Hear Your Voice
by terreisa
Summary: Killian is back in Storybrooke trying not to wonder how Emma is faring in her quest and hoping that his words are staving off the darkness threatening her heart. A late night phone call lets him know, for better or for worse. A CS missing moment.


**This takes place in between the events of the episodes 'Lily' and 'Mother'. Just an idea that popped in my head and wouldn't go away.**

 **The characters belong to Kitsis and Horowitz and I just take them out to play.**

* * *

It hadn't even been a full day and Killian was starting to wonder if he might be driving himself into madness. He was lying prone on the deck of the Jolly Roger, staring unseeingly up at the night sky and listening to the water lapping gently against the side of his ship. The night air had a bite of frost to it but for him it was only soothing. It was a good thing his foes weren't around, the fearsome Captain Hook was hardly a threat to them at the moment.

Only, he hadn't been Captain Hook for months and it was all due to Emma Swan. Emma, savior of the people of Storybrooke, daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White, mother of the Truest Believer, and the one person who had believed that he could be Killian Jones again. If his enemies were indeed to set upon him there was no doubt that he could fight them and win. The victory, however, would be because he was fighting to live and not just to survive.

Killian smiled to himself as his thoughts returned to his conversation with Emma earlier in the day. He had gotten her to smile, something that had been replaced by an enraged and injured countenance since her parent's confession. While understood their motives, especially as Emma was concerned, he also knew how hard it was for Emma to trust those who betrayed her. It was something he would do his best to explain to her when she returned, whenever that might be.

After Emma's yellow vehicle had gone past the point where his eyes could follow he had turned back to the small knot of people behind him. The good prince had been comforting his wife from the latest rebuff of their affections but Henry was no longer with them. A flare of panic had risen up in Killian's chest until he spied the boy standing at the roadside, eyes fixed on the horizon where Killian knew the road would lead the women across the town line.

Not wanting to impose on their heartache he dipped his head in a slight nod at David and took his leave. From there he wandered aimlessly through the town, somewhat unsure of what action to take. The Crocodile was in hiding along with the blasted Author. Maleficent had warded herself into Regina's office for unknown reasons. Emma had assured him that she was on their side, for the time being. It was only when he found himself standing outside of Granny's Diner that the only pressing business he had to attend to was the transferring of the last of his possessions from his temporary quarters back to their rightful place on the Jolly Roger.

It hadn't taken him long to pack as he had been slowly reclaiming the Jolly as his own. Granny had graciously provided him with a box and left smiling as she grumbled about finally being free of having to find uses for the doubloons Killian had been paying her with. He had grinned as she descended to the kitchen below and remembered there was a particularly fetching bauble in the Jolly's hold that would suit the patroness well. A small token in appreciation for all she had done for him in the past months.

The rest of his day was spent combing over his ship to remove any last trace of the bastard Blackbeard from her. Despite the obvious care the man had taken in the upkeep of the Jolly Killian couldn't help but swab the decks twice and batten down the hatches to his liking. Part of him knew he was trying to keep his mind off of Emma and how she was faring in her quest but he didn't dare dwell on it. Those thoughts were a sure way of causing him to unfurl the sails and cast off for New York on his own.

He had been sitting at the table in his quarters contemplating if it was worth returning to town for food or if there was anything left in the ship's stores to tide him over until morning when the sound of footsteps on the deck above caught his attention. Before he could do more than stand up to investigate a pair of sneakered feet were descending the reinstalled ladder revealing a bundled up Henry holding what was clearly a bag of food from Granny's.

Apparently Henry had been about as successful as himself at distracting his mind. With both of his mothers out in the world and his grandparents trying to assuage their guilt and tend to their child Henry had been hard pressed to find things to occupy his time. He had even told Killian with disdain that he had done extra credit homework, which Killian didn't quite understand what that meant for the lad's academic studies but inferred it was another way of killing time.

They ate their meals while conversing amiably about the return of the Jolly Roger and Killian quizzing Henry on various nautical terms and techniques he had been teaching him on their sailing excursions. Without acknowledging it they steered the conversation away from speculation on how Emma and Regina were and especially from Gold's plans to turn Emma dark. Killian was worried enough as it was, no need for Henry to get worked up as well.

Much later they found themselves above deck. Killian was standing behind the helm with Henry at the prow with the sextant he had procured not long after settling for good in Storybrooke. He was immensely proud of the progress Henry had made as a sailor and couldn't wait to astound Emma when he finally took her and her boy out on the Jolly's first voyage back under his care.

In the last hour Henry had been aboard they had sprawled out on the deck of the Jolly as Killian tried to explain the difference between the constellations and star groupings high above Storybrooke and the ones he had become familiar with in the Enchanted Forest. He had also haltingly told him about the cruel pinpricks of light scattered across the Neverland sky that never changed unless Pan willed it so.

It was only when David called Henry inquiring as to his whereabouts that Killian took note of the lateness of the hour. Sheepishly Henry placated his grandfather and grinned apologetically at Killian as he stowed his phone in his pocket. Before he had stood to disembark Henry asked to see Killian's own phone. After several minutes of his fingers dancing across the screen Henry handed the phone back with a grin, explaining that he had added his own number to it. Killian had sat in shock staring down at his phone long after Henry had dashed off.

He eventually returned his phone to the pocket of his jacket and lowered himself so he was flat on his back, staring up at the stars marvelling at how far he had come. All because he had made a singular choice, to be a part of something bigger than him, bigger than his revenge. The path had been hard, God knows he had faltered many times but there was always one thing lighting his path, the only thing really, and he had finally told her as much. Emma, his happy ending, his light, someone worth being a better man for and he was growing ever hopeful that he was hers as well.

As he lay on the deck lost in remembering their morning conversation, his confession after restoring Ursula's happy ending, her continuing faith in his character his phone buzzed in his pocket. Yet the melody spilling out into the night was decidedly not what his phone normally trilled when someone was attempting to contact him. Sitting up as his hand fumbled with his jacket to extricate the device he could have sworn the words pirate's life and drink up me hearties had come from it.

Shaking his head he finally had the phone in hand and all thoughts of what mischief Henry had done to it flew out his mind. Emma's smiling face was on the screen and in his haste to answer he nearly dropped it. Cursing under his breath he brought the phone to his ear, a sudden sense of foreboding settling in his chest.

"Swan?"

She didn't answer but he could tell someone was there. He could hear quiet breathing on the other end.

"Emma, love, are you there?"

"Hi."

He closed his eyes and gripped the phone tighter. Her voice was tentative and quiet but it was completely her own.

"What is it? Is everything alright?" He asked trying to mask the panic in his voice.

"Everything's, well, not okay but I guess it could be worse?" Emma's voice pitched up into a question at the end. "It's too complicated to get into now but let's just say we're bringing a few more people back with us than we had planned for."

Killian let out the breath he had been holding. "You found Lily then? And what of Robin and that green terror masquerading as his wife?"

"Well, her reign of terror just keeps getting better and better," she said sardonically. "Can you make sure that Belle meets us at the town line with the cuff Pan had Tamara use on Regina? We've already let her know what to look for but I need to make sure she gets there without Gold getting in the way."

"Of course, Swan," Killian assured her.

"I've convinced Regina to wait until the morning to head back. We're all drained from everything I guess," she sighed tiredly. "I didn't feel comfortable leading the caravan of ill will back while everyone is short on sleep and even shorter on patience."

Killian noted the way she had skirted the question about her former friend and realized that was the true reason behind her call. He was unsure if he should push her on the issue or wait for her to tell him in her own time. She may be an open book, his Swan, but there were still moments where her past rose up and the walls around her heart rose with it. It was easier when he was holding her hand, anchoring her to him and he hoped he could do that still, despite the hundreds of miles between them.

"You mean to tell me that everyone's holed up in Baelfire's miniscule apartment. How is it Regina has agreed to this plan?" Killian asked astonished.

"She kind of has no choice, like I said things are complicated. It's cramped but I've slept in worse places. Neverland comes to mind."

"Aye, but I was there to distract you from any discomfort," he drawled, raising an eyebrow she wouldn't see. "Is everyone privy to our conversation or have you escaped?"

"I'm in the closet I stuffed you in after you stabbed Gold. Fond memories," she said without humor.

"If only the poison had done it's job perhaps we would find ourselves living in vastly different circumstances," Killian paused wondering if he would even be on speaking terms with Emma if his murder of the crocodile had transpired as intended.

"Hey, Killian, don't. We can't get caught up in the what ifs, believe me."

There was something in her voice that belied how far she was from being alright. He could hear her hesitation, her self doubt, and he ached to pull her into his arms so she could find peace of mind. He was about to broach the issue when she did it herself.

"We found Lily," she whispered.

Killian felt a chill run up his spine but blamed it on the lateness of the hour. He quickly made his way to his quarters with the feeling that being below deck was best for what was sure to be an intense conversation.

"As you promised," he murmured as he settled into a chair.

"She knows," Emma blurted out. "God, Killian, she knows everything. She knew about my parents and what they did to her, who her mother is, that I'm the Savior and that I have magic. She even figured out she could get into Storybrooke by stealing my car! For once I want to be the one who goes into a situation knowing everything. I'm sick and tired of getting caught by surprise."

Emma's voice had risen steadily and was almost to the point of yelling before she caught herself. Killian had dug his hook into the wood of the table as she spoke and carefully pried it loose as he formulated his response. There was more to the tale and he knew that it wouldn't be pleasant.

"I was able to stop her before she got too far. Stole a car to do it," she said offhandedly.

"Lily was on her way here?" Killian was confused until her earlier statements came back to him. "She was coming for your parents."

"She was so angry," Emma continued almost as if he hadn't spoken. "I… I needed to stop her. She wanted to destroy everything and everyone I care about. I just wanted to protect what I've worked so hard for, what was mine."

"Swan, what…"

"I had my gun on her, Killian," Emma whispered brokenly. "I was so close to pulling the trigger. It would have been so easy to do. I have never wanted to do something so much in my life. It was different with Cruella, I didn't know she couldn't hurt Henry. I didn't know.

"Lily was kneeling at my feet, begging me to do it. I kept thinking how simple things would be if I did it. She had already messed up my life twice and I was the idiot who kept trusting her, believing we were really friends. I could have done it without thinking twice."

"What stopped you?"

"Regina did, or something Regina said. She was trying to talk me down and I wasn't listening, until she told me that I was better than falling into the trap Gold had set. It just reminded me of what you said before I left. That I had things to live for, to fight for, things that I would destroy if I pulled that trigger. I was better because of my family, because of you."

Killian drew in an unsteady breath. He heard the rustling of fabric and her muffled sniffling and felt their separation keenly, as if a dagger had slipped between his ribs.

"Emma?"

"I'm okay, really I am, just tired. It's been a long day," her voice was stronger, sounding more like herself than she had for days. "A really long day."

"Perhaps you should get some rest, Swan. You'll need it if you are truly returning with Zelena and Lily in tow."

"Yeah, Regina wants to be on the road by six. We should be back by noon if we don't hit any traffic," Emma said resignedly.

"Then I shall see you at noon in front of Granny's Diner with your family. I believe Henry will be eager to tell you about the alterations he's made to my phone," he mused.

"What did he do?"

Killian was glad to hear a smile in her voice.

"I'm not entirely sure but when you called instead of the high pitched ringing it played a shanty that mentioned a pirate's life and something about me hearties."

"Ah," she chuckled. "I'll explain ringtones when I get back and maybe show you a movie while we're at it."

"As long as it doesn't involve another embodiment of myself," he grumbled.

"There's definitely no Captain Hook in it but there are pirates. I think you might actually like this one."

"I did enjoy that time traveling vehicle one. Which we never did finish, Swan, bad form."

"It's not my fault you fell asleep during the third one!"

Grinning Killian glanced out the window and judged that an hour or so had passed since they had commenced their conversation.

"You are right as ever, love," he paused. Loath as he was to end the call he knew Emma needed her rest for her travels in the morning. "I believe I should let you get what sleep you can."

"I'm tempted to stay in this closet. There's more legroom and a lot less hostility in here," she mused.

"I don't doubt you, having spent time in there myself, but trust me when I say that avoiding Lily will only make it harder to face her in the morning."

Emma sighed in resignation but he could tell she took his words to heart. He still marveled at how much she listened to him and that she accepted his advice without question. It was just another sign of her unwavering faith in him.

"Alright, I'll go back but that doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy myself."

"I didn't say you had to, love."

"Killian?"

"Aye?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For listening, for not judging me or being disappointed in me," she said in a small voice.

"Emma, I've had centuries of the darkness holding sway over me. I know the temptations it presents. Believe me when I say I could never be disappointed that you faced your darkness and fought against it. I've said it before but you're a bloody hero, Swan, and you've proven it again today."

"You know, I wasn't planning on having such a heavy conversation when I called," she said shakily.

"No? What were you hoping to converse about?" He asked lightly.

"I don't know... what you did all day? I really just called to hear your voice," she admitted.

"I'm glad you did because I was able to hear yours in return," he said returning the unspoken sentiment.

"Okay," she said a little breathless. "I should go."

"That you should. Go and rest up, and then you can return as quickly as possible," Killian tried to hide the plea to be safe but he knew she could hear it in his voice.

"I will. Goodnight, Killian."

"Goodnight, Swan."

He waited until he was sure that the call had disconnected before dropping his hand from his ear to rest on the table. It was late but he had no desire to try and get any sleep himself. Emma had turned her back on the darkness and would be on her way back to Storybrooke in a few short hours. A celebratory drink under the stars was more than warranted and in the morning he would be waiting for his Swan to return.


End file.
